F@ck it! Wear those slippers!
Saying the word NO is hard! But being hard on ourselves is also very difficult- How many of you can relate to what I am about to say?
Do you find the word “NO” hard?
Well, I do…or should I say.. DID!
Do you feel the need to be PERFECT. Yes, that word…
P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!
For so many years I thought that it was NORMAL the way I was living my life. I wanted everything to be perfect. Yes, it was part of my OCD and Type “A” personality but it also is something that society puts on us. The need to make sure we have our Sh#t together! Does it makes us whole, complete or feel good? The answer to that is tough.
Years ago, I would of said “YES, of course”! But the older that I get and the more I go through, I realize what truly is important in my life. I don’t regret being the way that I was. I did enjoy it so a certain extent and it was part of my journey and made me who I am today.
RECOVERING TYPE “A” PERSONALITY
It wasn’t long ago that I was still trapped in my “Perfect World”. “Everything has a place and there’s a place for everything”! Yes, I really felt that way. My house was SPARKLING clean, I was Room Mom, a good friend, Wife and Mother. I thought that this was the way it was supposed to be. I strived to make things “just right”.
I had lists galore! So many lists, that my lists had lists! It was an eye opener one day when my close friends were laughing and sarcastically said.. “Christy probably even has a post it note next to her bed”. It says “meet me at “specific time”! They were all laughing at me, and I joined in, but when I left I really started thinking hard about that comment. “Damn, that’s how they see me”?
Making sure that everything was perfect and organized made me happy. Cleaning my baseboards 2 times a week and organizing my house brought me joy. Well, at least that’s what I thought, or what I made myself believe!
Apparently this has ALOT to do with not being able to say the word NO-
Why is is so difficult to say “NO”? it’s just a word right?
Are you a people pleaser? Read more in upcoming wellness stories on my journey and ways to help improve yours!
I realized I was afraid of saying no because one of my biggest fears was rejection, I was afraid everytime I did this (said no) that I would hurt that persons feelings, disappoint them,make them angry or appear unkind or rude!
It is a heavy burden when you say YES to EVERYTHING! Apparently with the urge to say yes, comes a lack of self cofindence and self value! (Upcoming blog post!)
FINDING A BALANCE
It wasn’t easy. I was my own worst enemy. Looking back I can’t believe the pressure I put on myself. Society expects you to be a certain way and yes my husband was to blame too! He expected a lot out of me. He grew up in a very traditional home where his Father worked hard all day and his Mother did EVERYTHING around the house, including fresh homemade meals 3 times a day, she even ironed their UNDERWEAR! I’m sure some of you can relate to this. I on the other hand, grew up in a home that both my Parents were capable of doing things. Of course there were certain things that my Mom tend to do more than my Father, but there was a balance.
Over the many years that we have been together and the roller coaster of life, we have learned to work together and compromise. We definitely balance each other out with most things in life. Also me become ill changed a lot of things.
Live your life for you not anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself!
Rebel in you
F@ck it! Wear your slippers or hoodie to school drop off line. Lipstick and sunglasses do wonders! Making your bed is great but be a rebel and skip a day every once in awhile. You didn’t have enough time to bake 48 homemade cupcakes and decorate them like the Pinterest idea? Or how about those 100 personalized treat bags with handcrafted labels or the holiday gifts for EVERY Staff member at your kids school? (and YES… I did this a few times a year!)
It is OKAY!!! Maybe you are not that type of Mom or maybe you don’t feel well. Or maybe, just maybe..you FORGOT!!! Don’t be so hard of yourself! The world is NOT going to come crashing down if your not SUPERMOM! Because guess what? You ARE Super MOM! Give yourself more credit! There is so much that you do Mama!!
SELF COMPASSION
Self compassion, have ever even heard of this word? Well let me tell you, it is something that many of us LACK!!! We are too busy trying to keep up with daily life that we forget about ourselves and when we do remember “US” then we think we are being selfish. Let me tell you… or how about scream it to you all..SELF CARE AND SELF COMPASSION is NOT SELFISH!!!!
I was the PERFECT Mom the first time around. With my second son, well let’s just say that he got the short end of the straw! My boys are 9 years apart. I was younger with my first Son, I was a new Mom with so much energy! I am older now and I am chronically ill. I just can’t do what I use to do and guess what? IT IS OKAY!
Just to let you know, I can’t believe I just said that! Do you know how many years and how much therapy it took me to get here?!!!
I still do alot with my boys. They get alot of love, attention and support. We do science projects, school reports,Valentines cards, etc. But I don’t stress myself out like I use too!
I HAVE FOUND BALANCE!
Balance is key! Balance is HEALTHY! Check out my article on how stress affects our body and our health!
Much love to you all! Ps… Tomorrow maybe I will be a rebel and wear my slippers!
xo Christy
